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Open Adoption:
Double the Love

  • Linda R. Sexton

Triple the Love. The Gift of Open Adoption

Recently our daughter Sofie graduated from Colorado University-Boulder with a Master Degree in Civil Engineering. We wanted to make it a wonderful celebration – not only for how incredibly proud we are of our daughter – but also we wanted to revel in all the love from everyone who travelled to the beautiful mountain town see her graduate.

Of course, one of the best parts for Sofie was that her big sibling, Finley, came to help celebrate and joined the the college crowd at graduation night karaoke and pool bar, while mom and dad gratefully went to bed!

One of my favorite quotes from Sofie:

“I am so incredibly grateful to my brave parents and birth parents for making the tough decisions they did….because of their courage, I have double the family and double the love!"

On her graduation day, surrounded by family, friends and birth family, something struck me. Today is not double the love- it is TRIPLE the love. You see, very early on as we planned this event, her birth father told us that he would like to attend her graduation along with his wife and their two children. We were thrilled and knew that Sofie would be delighted to share this day with us and her birth father’s family. Before we knew it, Sofie’s birth grandparents said they were coming too! Sofie is the first of their seven grandchildren and has always held a special place in their hearts. And because our parents, Sofie’s grandparents, are all deceased, we knew that sharing this day with birth grandparents would be a welcome gift.

But then something remarkable happened. Sofie’s birth mother said she would like to come too. She reflected that she missed a lot of other events as Sofie was growing up and that it would do her heart good to see Sofie graduate from college. We were delighted when she and her husband joined for the celebration too.

As I looked at the group I could not help to think – this is simply the best of what open adoption has to offer. Three families that love my child: our family, her birth father’s family and her birth mother’s family.

Life is never easy. And it was not easy for everyone to show up together- especially for Sofie’s birth parents. Being together again brought up memories and reminders of a very difficult time in their teen lives. But the north star of any adoption is always love for the child. What is best for them comes first. And today was the day that we put Sofie at the center of all that love, just like her birth parents did the day she was born, and it sure felt right and good.

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2 comentarios

Miembro desconocido
02 ago 2022

well said and how appropriate for the wonderful and beautiful “Belle” of our family! Congrats to Belle for being incredible!

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Miembro desconocido
02 ago 2022

Love this! So worth the journey. Congrats to Belle! Awesome to be surrounded by so much love at this milestone event.

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